Have you, and your partner or someone you know had a major crisis in life?
Sometimes people have a major crisis in their life and they need a lot of support. I can’t emphasize enough the value of having someone behind your back when you’re having a dilemma. The crazy thing is that the bigger the crisis the easier it seems to be for their partners to give their focus, attention, and support. Nevertheless, one of the best feelings in the world is having a supportive partner to help you get over this period.
Being supportive does not mean doing anything for your partner that makes us uncomfortable. It doesn’t also necessarily mean that we need to try and solve other people’s issues. Part of being supportive is to be really present and a good listener, to not constantly stand in judgment and actually have a sincere and caring disposition. To really hear and understand what the other person is communicating and not allowing our own stuff to get in the way.
When someone truly loves and supports you, they will challenge you, stand beside you when you need them and give you space to be yourself and grow as a person.
One of my client’s partner has been going through a fairly major crisis that has taken her out of action for a month. She is now back and needs a lot of support. Just so that he does not take anything for granted, especially expecting his partner to tell him all her needs, I suggested that every morning for the next couple of months that he asks her “What support do you need specifically today?”.
Things go wrong in life, but despite our busy schedules, it is important to look at how we can support each other better each day…
Here are some tips that can help nourish each other’s heart through giving support:
- Be respectful to your partner’s feelings. If your significant other is dealing with a disappointment, let them know that you are available to talk. Sometimes it is also helpful to give them some space to process their feelings first.
- Listen deeply to what your partner is saying. Knowing that you are being heard especially when the world is upside down feels very nurturing. It also heals all wounds and prevents misunderstanding.
- Speak in a loving tone. Speaking in a sincere and caring tone will let your loved one feel safe and heard. Gently communicate your feelings so you both know the real deal and so you can determine how to help one another.
- Give small gifts. This could break the ice and lift up their mood… little surprises go a long way.
- Let them know that you love them. Saying the words “I love you” is very reassuring and could definitely lift someone to a higher ground.
- Offer encouraging words. Your positive words may help your partner to take that first step.
- Be affectionate and open.
We need to keep in mind that our partners don’t just need our support when the going get’s tough but every day of our lives as a couple. Sometimes we may get carried away that we may end up lecturing them on how they should be doing something instead of supporting them on how they will pursue their goal. We should respect and support their ways… Here’s an article I wrote about why people don’t speak up in relationships to help you decipher if you and your partner are expressing your thoughts clearly to each other.
Emotional, physical and mental support is the backbone of any relationship. It is a fundamental ingredient in creating long lasting ones… But be careful that you do not self-sacrifice. We have to also look after our self and perhaps sometimes need to learn to ask and accept others supporting us.
Living life in the world and in these times is challenging. Having that one special person in their corner can make all the difference in their world, and yours…
So if you've got any questions regarding this blog or any aspect of your relaionship, why not take advantage of the complimentary 30-minute session I offer. Contact Me to see how I can help you have more healthier and happier relationships. Until next time.
Keith Flynn BSc, Dip. Hyp.