Part 2 – Relationship Foundations
Another way to look at having great relationships, is to look at what relationships are built on. This video ends up using a simple house analogy to explain the foundations and structure upon which a great relationship is built.
As with a building, if the foundation is not strong then what is built upon the foundations will be shaky.
In terms of relationships there the three critical components;
- Like: Ideally you need to like each other. A relationship built on dislike is going to have challenges from the outset.
- Respect: Mutual respect goes a long way to how each party treats the other. With out respect there is likely to be some form of abuse built into the relationship.
- Trust: Trust sometimes can be hard won if one party comes from a untrusting place to start with. Sometimes trust is give up front. But real mutual trust takes time to be earned. Also trust can be easily lost.
After having a broad look at the major 4 areas of a relationship where problems can occur, Connection, Compass, Comprehend, Change ( see Part 1 – Relationship Overview), we can have a look at how strong the foundation is. If there are any problems with like, respect and trust, there will be problems that will ripple up.
Having and solid foundation of like, respect and trust will mean that there is a likely to be very good Rapport. That each party in the relationship will feel comfortable and safe to express themselves.
In this model, rapport can be considered the floor, built upon the foundation.
With good rapport there is likely to be good communication and connection.
There is likely also to be commitment to supporting and growing the relationship.
With all relationships, whether between couples, within friends and families, or organisations, there needs to be some interests that are common and the same. Shared interests or experiences are essential in great relationships.
There will also always be separate interests. One test of how good a relationship is, is how well each party supports the other separate interests.
These all form the basic walls of the relationship.
With a solid foundation, floor and walls the roof is a great relationship that can weather the storms that come along. Any cracks it foundation, floor or walls will weaken the structure. And like all good building there is always maintenance to do to ensure longevity.
Again, this model can be used to pin point broad areas where problem in a relationship are occurring. As implied earlier, in order to have a great relationship, it essential to have a solid foundation.