Do you remember the time when you couldn’t take your hands off your partner? One look, one touch, and you’d feel so giddy and inspired to take on anything life throws at you. You both seemed to have too much time and energy for romance, didn’t you?
If this is still you, keep enjoying this honeymoon period, and you may not be interested in reading any further.
If you’ve been together for quite a while, I am betting things have changed. When the demands and responsibilities of real life take over, this euphoria fades away slowly and sometimes for some suddenly…
On a lighter note, some couples make it a habit to keep their romance alive all year round. It takes thoughtfulness and organisation to actually make this happen… but if both partners choose to do this for their relationship, then it can be pieces of heaven on earth… Well, not every day though. (Lol). The urgent demands and needs of daily life with the reality of taking care of work and family (particularly if you have children) at the same time may mean less time to devote to your relationship.
Although turmoil in any relationship is par for the course, long-term feelings of alienation and neglect are not. You may like to think of your relationship as having its own seasons and cycles with a splash of the unexpected. You and your partner may already have a regular time together but mixing it up with a good surprise or two can make it fun. Putting forth the effort that you did when love was new is one of the things you can do to keep the love burning.
So what is romance? Why is it important in relationships?
Universally, romance involves genuine acts of love, thoughtfulness, affection and adoration toward your partner. Creating the special moments of connection that you both share. It is valuable as it acts as a fuel to keep the relationship going. Some may even put romance as the “fragrance in every relationship”. Creating romance differs from every couple, you need to keep in mind and consider what your partner’s wants and needs are. In my one-on-one sessions with different clients, I often reiterate that the best part is that you don’t really need to “work hard” to be romantic. You just have to tune yourself into the relationship and the rest will follow. You can choose to get to know your partner’s love languages and use them for your heart.
Attention and affection from your partner create romance and without it, can lead to love’s demise. Some of the ideas that would often spring up when we discuss this topic are the following:
- Show appreciation every day. Offer words of affirmation or appreciation. It can also be a wink or a kiss and a simple question that can change things up a bit: “What can I do to celebrate my partner today?”.
- Little thoughtful random surprises almost always ignite the sparks instantly.
- Make time to feed the relationship. Go on spontaneous dates and enjoy your time together.
- Mix things up. Find out the small things that light up your partner. It might be looking after the kids so she can have a girls night out ( for the boys ). Break the cycle and do something new! Or something you both enjoyed but have not done in a long time.
- Do chores. It could sound very un-romantic but many people feel loved and cared for when their partners help them around the house. Like if you don’t often cook a meal, cook for your partner.
- Let go of the small things that may have annoyed you in the past. Give up any grudges. These build resentment, and resentment kills the romance. Enough said…
Romance should be a fun and joyful experience. Many times it’s all about the little things that make your partner smile and just going with your heart. You may be surprised that a simple gesture could create more sizzle in your relationship. Trust that if you have the desire to create romance, it is more than enough to get things started.
How important is your relationship to you? Do you value and give it the attention that you give your work, career or hobbies? Often it is not the quantity of attention you give but the quality.
So if you've got any questions regarding this blog or any aspect of your relationship, why not take advantage of the complimentary 30-minute session I offer. Contact Me to see how I can help you have more healthier and happier relationships. Until next time.
Keith Flynn BSc, Dip. Hyp.